It's true. I have my own moon.
I'll admit, there have been times in the distant past when I thought I was an island, but never, ever did I consider myself to be a planet.
Even if I'm not really a planet, I've just discovered that I have my own moon. It's one of my daughters. My 14yr. old.
I was recently reflecting on some scripture and statements by Oswald Chambers from his devotional book "My Utmost For His Highest". One of the things he had been writing about was our response to God when He "tells" us something, whether by Spirit, or by scripture, or through someone else. He says, "When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't."
While meditating on this my attention was brought to a recent disagreement I had with my daughter. She asked for something, I said "No", she said, "Why not?" and the debate began. Now in reflecting on this particular instance, I realized how she always has to know "why" in everything. She wants all the details, wants to analyze it, see if it makes sense to her, see if she agrees with it, and so on. And on one hand I don't want to discourage her from asking questions and searching for understanding, but there are times when you just have to have faith. Sometimes you just have to trust the person you're with, whether parent, teacher, friend, sibling, spouse, boss, and ultimately God.
Well, this daughter of mine seems to love to debate. Whatever you say she seems to have a hard time just accepting it and she has to "see for herself".
Here's a typical conversation with her:
"Mom, we need to buy shampoo."
"No we don't, we still have several bottles."
"No, Mom, I used up the last bottle yesterday."
"You used up the last bottle in the bathroom, but there's more in the attic pantry."
"No, Mom, I know there's none left, we need to put it on our list."
"Darlin', trust me, there is shampoo on the shelf. Dad just bought a bunch and I put it there myself."
"Mom."
(we both just stand there looking at each other)
"Honey, go look if you don't believe me."
The words "if you don't believe me" catch in my throat a little because I can't understand why she won't just trust me on this, or on any other topic of discussion, for that matter. There's a temptation there to start to feel like I'm an awful mother if my daughter doesn't feel like she can trust me, especially with small things like this. But, I use the word "temptation" because when I put my emotions aside, I know it has little to do with my mothering skills, and more to do the person that she is.
She walks to the attic pantry to check it out for herself and comes back wearing a funny grin.
I don't say anything. I just look at her, head tilted, eyebrows raised in a question.
With a weak laugh she says, "Yeah, there's some there. It's just that I thought...", and her voice trails off as she walks past me.
I sigh and think to myself, when will she ever learn?
Okay, here's the interesting part.
This daughter of mine...well, she's just a miniature me. A mini-me. She is just a reflection of who I am, and how I respond, not only to many circumstances in my life but also to God. I've always analyzed everything, especially my own thoughts and actions and to be honest it often wears me out. So, the truth is...
She's my Moon.
She's my Moon!
She's My Moon!
God must have given her to me just so I can have a better understanding of who I am, to others and to Him. I have always loved her. But, I'll admit, there have been times when I've gotten frustrated with her need to "see for herself". And sometimes I've even gotten just downright annoyed.
Well, not anymore. When I have these encounters with her from now on I'll be thankful that God has blessed me with her and that He's using her to teach me about myself, and about Him.
I have a Moon.
My very own Moon. :)
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
"Of all the Things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
Oh yeah, it's been happening for awhile.
The fog is moving in alright and it's moving in way up North...
into my cerebral hemisphere.
Which is nowhere near the equator, by the way.
I have not been able to get into my account for this blog.
Couldn't remember my username or password.
Couldn't use the "forgot username/password" feature either.
Yep, I had forgotten which email was associated with this account.
I have several email accounts.
One I consider my family account, which I have with my husband.
One for all my homeschooling stuff.
One for the many different online "groups" to which I belong.
An sbc account which came with our ISP, which we typically don't use but have to keep as long as we have our dsl.
A couple yahoo accounts which came with yahoo ID's I created ages ago.
An Opera email, which I set up when I started using their browser, just to see if I liked it.
An aol account which opened itself when I created an AIM screen name so I could instant message my college girls.
And actually, I thought I created a whole new gmail account just for this blog.
Don't ask why, just go with it.
Okay, do you really want to know?
My guess is because I tend to be compartmentalized in my approach to things.
This is probably why I find myself feeling very fragmented much of the time.
I need things to be clear cut.
Separated and lined up nicely in a row.
I never mixed my food together on my plate as a kid, nor do I now.
My husband likes to lump all his stuff together into one big food mountain.
Meat, veggies, potatoes or rice...then top it off with a nice big glop of gravy or some gravy-like substance.
I suppose it's a more efficient way of eating. And it's all going to the same place anyway, right?
(at least that's what they have been telling me)
I, on the other hand, usually eat all my veggies first, then my carbs, then my proteins.
I don't do this on purpose, it just kind of goes that way.
And now that I'm thinking about it, I realize that I don't even make casseroles.
I think I've made a total of 2 in the 19yrs. we've been married.
Wow, that was a big detour.
I need to find the ramp that get's me back onto the main highway.
Email Exit. 2 lines ahead. Keep left.
Back to my email accounts.
After wracking my brain for the past couple of weeks, and searching my hard drive for files which might contain this information. It came to me. It just suddenly popped into my head.
My email and password.
I never realized that there were such good hiding places in this gray matter of mine.
I know that there is a lot more information stealing away into all those nooks and crannies.
Wouldn't it be weird if they all popped out and presented themselves at the same time?
Whoa! Talk about your screen freezing up.
I'm sure I don't have enough RAM to handle that scenario.
I'm happy with just being able to retrieve my email and password for now.
My brain is exhausted.
Time to save and publish.
"click"
The fog is moving in alright and it's moving in way up North...
into my cerebral hemisphere.
Which is nowhere near the equator, by the way.
I have not been able to get into my account for this blog.
Couldn't remember my username or password.
Couldn't use the "forgot username/password" feature either.
Yep, I had forgotten which email was associated with this account.
I have several email accounts.
One I consider my family account, which I have with my husband.
One for all my homeschooling stuff.
One for the many different online "groups" to which I belong.
An sbc account which came with our ISP, which we typically don't use but have to keep as long as we have our dsl.
A couple yahoo accounts which came with yahoo ID's I created ages ago.
An Opera email, which I set up when I started using their browser, just to see if I liked it.
An aol account which opened itself when I created an AIM screen name so I could instant message my college girls.
And actually, I thought I created a whole new gmail account just for this blog.
Don't ask why, just go with it.
Okay, do you really want to know?
My guess is because I tend to be compartmentalized in my approach to things.
This is probably why I find myself feeling very fragmented much of the time.
I need things to be clear cut.
Separated and lined up nicely in a row.
I never mixed my food together on my plate as a kid, nor do I now.
My husband likes to lump all his stuff together into one big food mountain.
Meat, veggies, potatoes or rice...then top it off with a nice big glop of gravy or some gravy-like substance.
I suppose it's a more efficient way of eating. And it's all going to the same place anyway, right?
(at least that's what they have been telling me)
I, on the other hand, usually eat all my veggies first, then my carbs, then my proteins.
I don't do this on purpose, it just kind of goes that way.
And now that I'm thinking about it, I realize that I don't even make casseroles.
I think I've made a total of 2 in the 19yrs. we've been married.
Wow, that was a big detour.
I need to find the ramp that get's me back onto the main highway.
Email Exit. 2 lines ahead. Keep left.
Back to my email accounts.
After wracking my brain for the past couple of weeks, and searching my hard drive for files which might contain this information. It came to me. It just suddenly popped into my head.
My email and password.
I never realized that there were such good hiding places in this gray matter of mine.
I know that there is a lot more information stealing away into all those nooks and crannies.
Wouldn't it be weird if they all popped out and presented themselves at the same time?
Whoa! Talk about your screen freezing up.
I'm sure I don't have enough RAM to handle that scenario.
I'm happy with just being able to retrieve my email and password for now.
My brain is exhausted.
Time to save and publish.
"click"
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
My dad thought that living in a spotless, "immaculate", organized, and orderly home was really important.
"A place for everything and everything in its place."
That was one of his mantras.
Another was,
"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
I was an older teenager before I realized that this ideology was not actually scripture.
But I've found that as an adult my dad's all important creeds haven't helped me at all.
I am neither "immaculate" nor orderly.
Not spotless or organized.
But, I have this innate desire, almost an obsessive need to be those things and more.
My daily emotional balance and intellectual capabilities hinge on it.
If things in "my world" are not organized, orderly, or spotless then I suddenly go into a fog and I can't think clearly, my mood starts to change and I feel very confused and unable to function at a descent level.
So, living in the organized, spotless home with the very strict schedule and home life didn't seem to benefit me at all. In fact, in many ways it seems to have hindered me.
Not only do I find myself unable to be fully functional without my surroundings being next to perfect, I am also incapable of creating and keeping that state of being in my life and home with my husband and children.
So, for some reason, my father thought those things were very important and he assumed that they would be beneficial to us, his children, then and in the future. He spent a lot of his time, his emotional and physical energy making sure that he instilled those things into us, into our lives.
And yet, the outcome hasn't been what he expected.
I don't want to cause a repeat of this in my children.
It makes daily life more of a struggle than it should be.
So, again I ask..."What's really important?"
Maybe I'll ask my children and see what they say.
"A place for everything and everything in its place."
That was one of his mantras.
Another was,
"Cleanliness is next to godliness."
I was an older teenager before I realized that this ideology was not actually scripture.
But I've found that as an adult my dad's all important creeds haven't helped me at all.
I am neither "immaculate" nor orderly.
Not spotless or organized.
But, I have this innate desire, almost an obsessive need to be those things and more.
My daily emotional balance and intellectual capabilities hinge on it.
If things in "my world" are not organized, orderly, or spotless then I suddenly go into a fog and I can't think clearly, my mood starts to change and I feel very confused and unable to function at a descent level.
So, living in the organized, spotless home with the very strict schedule and home life didn't seem to benefit me at all. In fact, in many ways it seems to have hindered me.
Not only do I find myself unable to be fully functional without my surroundings being next to perfect, I am also incapable of creating and keeping that state of being in my life and home with my husband and children.
So, for some reason, my father thought those things were very important and he assumed that they would be beneficial to us, his children, then and in the future. He spent a lot of his time, his emotional and physical energy making sure that he instilled those things into us, into our lives.
And yet, the outcome hasn't been what he expected.
I don't want to cause a repeat of this in my children.
It makes daily life more of a struggle than it should be.
So, again I ask..."What's really important?"
Maybe I'll ask my children and see what they say.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Flashbacks
My hubby at 2yrs.
Back in the day when
it was considered "cute"
when a child played with guns.
My oldest daughter
when she was 7yrs.
She's now 21.
Beautiful both outside and inside,
and boy can she make me laugh.
I love her dearly...
I'm very blessed.
My two oldest when we only had 2 and not 7.
Now the younger one is taller than her older sister. :)Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Comics Section
A favorite website of a few of my children is Neopets.
Here's an original comic my daughter created and submitted to the site.
(click on the comic for a close-up view)
Here's an original comic my daughter created and submitted to the site.
(click on the comic for a close-up view)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
What's In a Valentine?
My 6yr old son made and gave me a few valentines today. Two of them were bright red cut-out hearts with messages written in purple crayon. The first one says:
XOXO XOXO
Dear Mom
i L♥VE YOU SO - there are hearts
MUCH AND - drawn inside the "O" in YOU and the "U" in MUCH.
YOU LOOK
PrETTY - The front of the valentine has XOXO XOXO on it
HAPPY VA - then a picture of my son and myself
LiTiNE - with a big heart inbetween our faces
SDAY and more XOXO's on the bottom.
XO
It's awesome and I love it SO MUCH!
The other heart says:
on the front
♥♥♥♥♥♥
LOVE YOU
♥♥♥♥♥♥
XOXO
XOXO
XO
inside
YOU LOOK
LIKE A BUTTE
R FLY HAPPY V
ALiTines D - the "i"s are dotted with little hearts
AY XOXOX
OXOXO
These homemade cards from the
heart of a child ROCK!
Kids are such a blessing. I love my kids. :)
~ HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY WORLD ~ !
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