Sunday, April 1, 2007

I Have My Own Moon

It's true. I have my own moon.
I'll admit, there have been times in the distant past when I thought I was an island, but never, ever did I consider myself to be a planet.

Even if I'm not really a planet, I've just discovered that I have my own moon. It's one of my daughters. My 14yr. old.

I was recently reflecting on some scripture and statements by Oswald Chambers from his devotional book "My Utmost For His Highest". One of the things he had been writing about was our response to God when He "tells" us something, whether by Spirit, or by scripture, or through someone else. He says, "When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn't."

While meditating on this my attention was brought to a recent disagreement I had with my daughter. She asked for something, I said "No", she said, "Why not?" and the debate began. Now in reflecting on this particular instance, I realized how she always has to know "why" in everything. She wants all the details, wants to analyze it, see if it makes sense to her, see if she agrees with it, and so on. And on one hand I don't want to discourage her from asking questions and searching for understanding, but there are times when you just have to have faith. Sometimes you just have to trust the person you're with, whether parent, teacher, friend, sibling, spouse, boss, and ultimately God.

Well, this daughter of mine seems to love to debate. Whatever you say she seems to have a hard time just accepting it and she has to "see for herself".

Here's a typical conversation with her:
"Mom, we need to buy shampoo."
"No we don't, we still have several bottles."
"No, Mom, I used up the last bottle yesterday."
"You used up the last bottle in the bathroom, but there's more in the attic pantry."
"No, Mom, I know there's none left, we need to put it on our list."
"Darlin', trust me, there is shampoo on the shelf. Dad just bought a bunch and I put it there myself."
"Mom."

(we both just stand there looking at each other)

"Honey, go look if you don't believe me."

The words "if you don't believe me" catch in my throat a little because I can't understand why she won't just trust me on this, or on any other topic of discussion, for that matter. There's a temptation there to start to feel like I'm an awful mother if my daughter doesn't feel like she can trust me, especially with small things like this. But, I use the word "temptation" because when I put my emotions aside, I know it has little to do with my mothering skills, and more to do the person that she is.

She walks to the attic pantry to check it out for herself and comes back wearing a funny grin.
I don't say anything. I just look at her, head tilted, eyebrows raised in a question.

With a weak laugh she says, "Yeah, there's some there. It's just that I thought...", and her voice trails off as she walks past me.
I sigh and think to myself, when will she ever learn?

Okay, here's the interesting part.
This daughter of mine...well, she's just a miniature me. A mini-me. She is just a reflection of who I am, and how I respond, not only to many circumstances in my life but also to God. I've always analyzed everything, especially my own thoughts and actions and to be honest it often wears me out. So, the truth is...

She's my Moon.
She's my Moon!
She's My Moon!

God must have given her to me just so I can have a better understanding of who I am, to others and to Him. I have always loved her. But, I'll admit, there have been times when I've gotten frustrated with her need to "see for herself". And sometimes I've even gotten just downright annoyed.

Well, not anymore. When I have these encounters with her from now on I'll be thankful that God has blessed me with her and that He's using her to teach me about myself, and about Him.

I have a Moon.
My very own Moon. :)

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